How To Listen To Music

There are many components to learning a musical instrument such as learning about rhythm, learning to read music, interpreting musical terms which are usually in foreign languages, understanding different styles from different periods of music, learning about composers and how a composition comes into existence, learning about how to play one’s instrument of choice, that is to say, what one has to do physically to create sounds.  All of these parts are important in order to understand and appreciate music and be able to play an instrument such as the piano.

But encompassing all of these parts is the phenomenon of sound.  Music is something we hear and its power to move us and impact us comes to us through listening.  But too often the actual listening to music is forgotten in the discipline of trying to master an instrument.  We have music all around us in shopping areas, amusement parks and even at gas stations!  We can hardly escape hearing music but that fact of our modern lives only makes real listening even more challenging.

So how can parents help their children who are studying an instrument to actually  listen to music?  Here are some suggestions:

1.) Only play music when you can really pay attention to it- avoid having it as simply background noise.

 2.) When you are choosing to listen to music ask yourself or dialogue with your child about how the music makes you feel- Energetic? Introspective? Dancelike? Smooth and Gliding or Jagged and Aggressive? Peaceful? Turbulent? Majestic?  This is also a good opportunity to  expand your child’s emotional language and enlarge the types of emotional labels they use.  Music gives us the vehicle to move beyond just happy or sad.

3.) Listen to the types of instruments being used to create the music.  What do they sound like?  Brassy? Mellow? Rich and Full? Sharp and Piercing? Does the music tell a story?  If there are words do the words and music match? What is the form of the music?  Does it have a chorus that repeats? Does it have an opening idea followed by a second idea and then a return to the first idea?

The more we can actually listen and take in the complex sounds of music the more it will feed us and enrich our lives.  Music is powerful but only if we let it in and truly hear it.  In this new year begin an exploration into the world of sound with a new way of listening!

Learning in the Winter Season

The holidays are behind us and now we are clearly in the season of Winter.  Sometimes this can be a “droopy” period when the motivation to learn is low, energy and enthusiasm have waned and we want to just curl up in a warm nook and read a book.  But this season can also be a very productive one, though the fruit will not show until later.

Here are a few suggestions for helping your child benefit the most from this season of learning:

1.) Continue to create the designated time for practicing.  We are accustomed to making New Year’s resolutions so in this time of starting anew, recommit to helping decide with your child when they will practice each day.  Encourage them to keep their commitment to give time to practicing, but do not take on their responsibility.  You can encourage and give appropriate consequences for not following through but it is their commitment to keep with themselves.

2.) Be sure practicing takes place the day after the lesson.  The day after a lesson is the most important day to practice.  When we learn something new, brain studies have shown that there is actual new neuron pathways that are formed.  These pathways are very fragile and the brain will trim them away if not reinforced within a short period of time.  Practicing the day after a lesson will give the student the best chance for remembering what was taught in the lesson and applying new skills to keep the neuron pathways growing stronger.

3.)  Attend a piano concert.  There are many fine performances available in our area and sometimes a student will be energized and motivated in ways that could not happen otherwise by attending a live performance.

 

Music For A Lifetime

The world of sports; the world of music; sometimes they seem to be several universes apart from each other.  And yet many of my students are actively involved in sports as well as in music.  What can be learned from each discipline?  How are they similar?  How are they different?

One of the similarities is that both activities are physical.  Sometimes it’s easy to think of studying a musical instrument as more like school work- all done in the  head. But in reality learning a musical instrument such as the piano, is very physical and the learning process must take that physicality into account.  In practical terms that means that missing a day of practice, whether it be for competitive golf or piano, will have the same affect- you cannot make up that time.  Your body has lived that day and it has not had the physical practice for whatever skill is being learned.

One of the differences between the world of sports and the world of music is that in sports students are usually part of a team and have a coach for their daily practice.  Generally, they are not asked to have the discipline to go by themselves and work on some skill alone.  This is one of the challenges with studying the piano.  Students have weekly lessons and then are expected to apply what they have learned on their own throughout the week.

Parents, this is where you can really be of help to your child.  Your job is to create the structure in your home schedule so that the practice time is built in and it becomes part of the daily routine.  It will still take some effort on the student’s part to go and do the practicing but you have eliminated one of the hurdles by establishing clearly when the practice is to take place each day.  With older students, this is a conversation to have with your child perhaps weekly, perhaps monthly, depending on the person, where you decide together, when they will practice.  Even for adult students, by deciding ahead of time, usually the day before, when you will practice gives you a much better chance of making it happen.  The power of decision is exactly that- powerful.  And when we claim this power for our own, it will transform whatever we are trying to accomplish.

There is one more final comparison that I cannot resist making between sports and musical endeavors.  Music is an activity that one can continue to do all throughout life, sometimes well into the 70’s and 80’s, but how many 80 year old active football players have you seen lately?  If you want to have a life skill then invest in music!

Yours, Mine, and Ours

One of the challenges of being a parent is figuring out how much to help one’s child.  All of us are eager to come to the aid of our children and do everything in our power to help them succeed.  But we also know, that part of the success of whatever the endeavor is about, depends on our children doing for themselves what they are able to do and us letting them do it, even though at times it is frustrating and even painful to watch them struggle.

So what does this have to do with learning to play the piano?  Actually a great deal.  As parents you play a vital role in helping your child learn but sometimes it is hard to know what that role is exactly.  In truth, your way of helping will change as your child grows and matures and is able to do more for themselves.  But in any stage, what is important is that the child be taking at least some ownership and that ownership will continue to grow until it becomes  completely their own.

In practical terms this is generally what  the partnership of parent/child in terms of learning to play the piano will look like.  For the first two to three years, the parent will be more involved, attending lessons, supervising the practicing at least for the majority of the time and helping to create solid habits that will pay off in the years ahead.  Above all, this means carving out the scheduled practice time so that the young child is not left with trying to accomplish something for which there is in truth no time to do it.

Usually by the fourth year a student is able to manage their time somewhat and a parent’s job will change slightly.  What is crucial during this season, is that again the parent helps to create the schedule, but it is the child’s responsibility to live out that schedule.  What is extremely wearing on everyone is having to constantly “nag” a child to do the practicing.  That is not the parent’s job nor is it helpful or productive.  The parent’s job is to sit down with their child and to agree together when the practicing will take place for that week and also the consequences of not fulfilling their commitment (withdrawal of certain privileges is usually effective) and then let the child remember their own commitments.  It is common in this “middle period” of learning for a child to want to shift over to their parents the responsibility for reaching their goals.  It is hard for them to hang onto why they wanted to learn to play in the first place and they begin to think that it is all their parents’ idea.   Your job is to remind them that they made a commitment, they are to see it through and that they can do it.  This is such a valuable life lesson, in that all of us get discouraged part way through a big endeavor and want to quit.  What keeps us going?  Often it’s having someone “hold our feet to the fire” and also encourage but not take on the actual responsibility.  That belongs to us and us alone just as our children need to carry their own backpack with their choices in it.

This process of helping to create the schedule, encouraging, and not entertaining the “quitting” notion midstream, will continue throughout the high school years but more and more you will see your student take ownership of their own choices and by doing that find more satisfaction in the results.  Your joy will be in seeing your child with amazing life skills earned through years of persistent effort that they could not have accomplished without your guidance and vision.

The Art of Listening

“Music washes away from the soul the dust of every day life.” Berthold Auerbach

We all understand what is meant when someone says, “You’re not listening to me.”  Physically, our ears take in the sound waves but mentally we are not truly listening.   This can be done on purpose because we don’t want to listen to someone but much of our non-listening state is a defense against our environment .  We live in a noisy world, from the noise of cars, to the constant hum of electronics to the seemingly ever present music jingles associated with advertising.  Just notice how quiet your house becomes when the electricity goes off!  And so we have learned to tune out a great deal of our environment and we shut out sound.  This is probably a good thing but we sometimes don’t realize that we need to then intentionally switch on our hearing again and choose to truly listen to something and not just hear it.

One of the important aspects of learning to play the piano is learning how to listen.  Students are learning a whole new language- the language of music- and it requires that they learn to listen.  In its essence, listening is really paying attention to something, being fully present and taking in every aspect of it.  It helps to know what to listen for, especially if it is something completely unknown which is why I give the students guided listening assignments each week.  I want them to be exposed to a wide variety of music but also to learn how to really pay attention to something and be completely present, not thinking about what happened in school that day, or what might be happening tomorrow.  But isn’t that the challenge for us as well?  We struggle to stay in the present and to really pay attention to each passing moment.

I would encourage you to listen to the listening assignment along with your child at least once during each week.  They are not very long and I offer a wide variety of music.  Try waiting about 30 seconds before you start the excerpt and just let there be silence.  Silence is the best environment in which to hear music.  Music can be as refreshing and invigorating as a cool breeze on a hot day and in our busy chaotic lives we need that refreshment.  Take a few moments this week and truly listen to music.

The Journey

In thinking about the students in my studio this year, I became more aware of the stages that are encountered in studying music or really any discipline for that matter.  I realized that some of my students who used to be “beginners” have now progressed to “intermediate” and those who used to be “intermediate” are now moving into “advanced.”  This is all very obvious, but what I want to draw out from this is how these transitions affect you, the parent.  Each part of this musical journey has its rewards and challenges and if you as the supporting parent are expecting the changes then they will not catch you by surprise.

The beginning phase of learning a new skill is always exciting and generally it does not take much effort to encourage the practicing.  Parents will often feel so pleased as the child wants to go and practice and they don’t have to remind them!  We can all enjoy the “honeymoon” period but what you as a parent can capitalize on during this phase is to create the routine, the structure, the habit if you will, so that the enthusiasm is channeled within a framework of habit that will be in place when some of that excitement wanes.  You can also say things like, “you will continue to improve as you spend time daily doing your assignment,” or “isn’t practicing fun because we improve when we practice something!”   At this point your child will agree with you that practicing is fun!

In the intermediate phase, the thrill of newness has worn off but there is something else that is positive to take its place- skill.  The intermediate student can read more fluently, they understand a great deal about music and they are beginning to play pieces that sound more impressive.  All of that can be very satisfying.  However, it is in the intermediate level that the most number of students give up and quit.  Practicing becomes a chore and parents weary of the constant reminder to get to the piano and practice.  What can parents do to weather this season of learning and encourage their child to keep going?  The most important contribution a parent can make at this stage is to create a daily schedule for practicing.  Decide with your child at the beginning of each week when they will practice on each day during that week.  Making those decisions ahead of time will make the implementation much easier.  The power is in the decision.  Also, make sure you as a parent continue to take an interest in your child’s practicing and progress.  Working alone can be just that- lonely, and kids need encouragement that what they are doing matters to you as their parent.  Families are very busy, but if a student feels like no one really cares about what they are doing, then it will make it harder for them to want to keep going.  Have your child play for you, attend a piano concert with them, encourage them to play for relatives when they come over.  All of those things will tell your intermediate student that you are with them in their endeavor and will encourage them to keep going.

In the advanced level of learning one begins to reap the results of all the years that have gone before.  The advanced student is able to play more advanced music and understand the complexities of interpreting that music.  Their skills have continued to advance and it is satisfying to be able to play something that years before seemed unattainable.  So what are the challenges in this level?  One of the challenges for the advanced student is to be willing to use their skills to master a piece of music.  For many advanced students it is easy to become satisfied with just being able to play it through and to not fully explore all that the music is communicating.  It is easy for parents at this level of student to also be satisfied with what they are hearing because it sounds pretty good!  What parents can do is to ask about the music and dialogue with their child about what he/she understands about the music. Also, listening to master performers or attending concerts can expand the expectations of both the child and the parent. At this age, students are usually exploring many other activities at school and parents can be of great help in not letting their child get over-booked.  Learning to make hard choices of how to spend one’s time is an extremely valuable lesson, and parents can help by teaching that one should only take on activities that can be supported with integrity.  We live in a society that wants instant gratification, even though we all know that things gotten instantly are also forgotten about as fast.  Whether it is working on a long-term project at school, writing a lengthy paper, or learning a complex piece of music we want to encourage our children to go the distance, be thorough, explore every nook and cranny, and be satisfied that everything was brought to bear on the project.  That kind of work brings deep and lasting satisfaction and a life well lived.